My Mother’s Ashes

mom box
My mother sits beside me as I write. She is comfortably ensconced in a beautiful wooden box; ashes are all that remain of her mortal body.
Yet, I cannot bring myself to dispose of these shards of bone and heaps of grey dust.
They were once her and so they stay.

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The Crow and I

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I am meditating in the garden. I hear a fluttering near me and open my eyes. There, beside me, is a large black crow staring, cocking his head, peering at me curiously. He speaks.
“What are you doing?”
“I am meditating, what are you doing?” For whatever reason, I am not frightened nor surprised. Have I lost my mind?

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Grief

Grief is a Tricky Thing
When you least expect it
There it is rearing its ugly head
Reminding you of the dead.
Draining you of your life
Laughing at your strife.
But when it is gone
A seed is planted
watered with your tears
and in its place
a garden grows.
Grief is a Tricky Thing.
– Linda Lee Lyberg,1994
weeping angelThe months following my husband’s death fill with a cacophony of emotions. Ragged grief grips me at unexpected times. I scream and shed unceasing tears, trying to drown out the unanswerable questions that fill my head. Why, why why? Am I responsible for his death because I didn’t go to him? Could I have saved him if I had? Grief and guilt are a powerful elixir. Once you drink  of them, they are your companions for life.

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Wanda Lee, Linda Lee & The Willow Switch

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My Aunt Wanda was watching us that day. I am not sure why. Momma was either out looking for a job or working at the restaurant where she was a waitress from time to time.
I loved my Aunt Wanda. I was actually named after her; she was Wanda Lee, and I am Linda Lee. She’s gone now. I will forever admire her. She was beautiful and her smile was captivating.

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Broken Man

broken

“It is easier to build strong children than repair broken men.”- Frederick Douglass

The minute he enters a room, the very air changes. Laughter and light-hearted banter halt. The atmosphere is murky and the faint smell of doom permeates every nook and cranny. He has arrived. Read More

Dance With Me, 2006

ballroom1Dance With Me

-Linda Lee Lyberg, 2006

Dance with me as the morning light

Creeps unto our bed.

Hold me close, caress me dear

Be a pillow for my head.

Dance with me when I am sad

Wipe my blues and tears away

Whisper sweet musings into my ear

And tell me you’ll always stay. Read More

The Heart Thief

“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose
Nothing, I mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, no no
Yeah feeling good was easy Lord when he sang the blues
You know feeling good was good enough for me
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.”- Janis Joplin

April 2007. Houston, Texas
“Get in!” she yells to the tiny brindle colored dog darting in and out of rush hour traffic. The passenger door ajar enough to accommodate him, he leaps feet first into the old car. Landing in the seat next to her, he looks up as if to say “What took you so long? I could have died out there.”

She takes him home and feeds him. Ravenous he wolfs down every bit of food, even the cat’s. What is she going to do with him? Read More

Possum on the Porch

grandma and catMy grandma Helen died of cancer at the age of 62- the age I am now. I was 9 at the time. I attended the funeral, but I didn’t understand. Who understands the finality of death at 9?
As a result, I didn’t get to know her. The things I do know about her are from talking to others along with memories of my own. Read More

The Rose in Repose,1997

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The Rose In Repose

-Linda Lee Lyberg

A lone gypsy rose quietly stood in the dark shadows of the fall

Struggling to go on living in the midst of crumbling walls.

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My Refuge

Mom never allowed me to go see Daddy once he left me alone in the car to fend for myself. It was then I started visiting a family two houses down from him. Dad had taken me over there from time to time so he could visit with Dr. Snyder aka Jack. His wife, Sarah Jayne took a liking to me, and I became enraptured with the entire family. The happiest times of my childhood occurred there, visiting the Snyder’s.

I told Sarah Jayne about dad leaving me in the car and she in turn told mom. Sarah Jayne offered to allow me to stay with them when I came out, so I could still see dad. Mom agreed.
Sarah Jayne is the kindest person I’ve ever had in my life. She introduced me to the bible and to Jesus. She bought me clothes to wear to Sunday school. She instilled within me the difference between right and wrong. She loved me as if I were her own.
It wasn’t long before I was spending entire summers with the Snyder’s. I loved it there, fantasized about being a permanent part of the family.

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The Last Call

“DEATH COLLECTS ITS RANSOM FROM THE LIVING.”- Linda Lee Lyberg

death-genes_1024February 18,1994.
3AM. The phone beside my bed is ringing. Nothing good ever comes from a call at 3AM and this one is no different.

Forcing myself from slumber, I answer.
Screaming and yelling on the other end of the line.
Get over here now! I need to talk with you immediately!
My trembling voice, I can’t, not this time. I have to work in the morning.
I don’t care I want you to come now.
Again, I say I can’t, I told you I have to work in the morning. There’s nothing more to talk about. I have asked you over and over to get help, I can’t do this anymore. Get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.
I will always love you but you have to get help.
These are the last words I ever say to him.

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Growing Butterflies

“Life Began in a Garden.”

I have a garden. Life is teeming within this garden. Each spade of dirt yields a tangle of earthworms that have done their job well. Rich,dark, fertile life-giving earth.

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Lovebirds

In the spring and summer, a flock of 20 or more peach faced lovebirds visit the feeders. We see a couple of rogue parakeets who escaped the confines of their cages somewhere along the way. Melodic chirps fill the air. Tiny goldfinches feed on their favorite Nyjer seed. We have sporadic visits from a Cooper’s hawk, a sharp shinned hawk, desert quail and a road runner. Did you know road runners are predators, quite intelligent, and amazing mimickers? I once saw a video of a road runner fighting with a rattlesnake, and guess who won? And here I thought Wily E. Coyote was plain dumb compared to the road runner in the cartoons of my youth. Read More

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