Down the Rabbit Hole

Image by azzy_roth from Pixabay

Days colored grey in doubt
A fading in and out of light
Trapped in an ocean of tears
Am I still breathing or gone
In this warped space- time
Restless endless nights tossing about
Tangled in darkness of damp sheets
Reeking with the sweat of denial
Then the resounding ringing call
The room shifting to shadows black,
Spinning, spinning, falling, falling
Down into the winding rabbit hole
But no one is there to greet me
No mad March Hare serving afternoon tea
Only me, me, me, feeling smaller, smaller
With this wretched cancer of dis-ease
Consuming my breast, invading me
Yet still the astounding dis-belief
Haunting all my waking and sleeping dreams

©2020 Linda Lee Lyberg

Written for dVerse Pub: Poetics 8th Anniversary!

33 Comments on “Down the Rabbit Hole

  1. There is always that disbelief, feeling of being small(er) and shock with the dreaded cancer diagnosis. My sister went through that with a warped time line.

    I hope things will turn out okay for you Linda. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A beautifully sad poem of feeling lost and alone. So glad to hear your positive news and hope and pray all will continue to go well with continued healing!
    Dwight

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is a shock to be plunged into such a situation. Life-changing and a lot to adapt to. One day at a time. I am so glad the news was encouraging about your lymph nodes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh this is such a sad poem… and a strong one, too. To find words for those experiences must be so hard. I wish you all the best. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. oy. a bit of a frightening place, down your rabbit hole. i like your word play with the dis-ease and dis-belief.

    cancer can be so hard. my father has had well over 120 surgeries for skin cancer. its take friends as well. i am glad you are recovering and here is to hoping that you continue down that path.

    brian

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sending all possible posvibes for continued good news, strength through whatever lies ahead. You certainly have captured the dreaded aspects perfectly, and I look forward to rejoicement verses ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loneliness and despair are cousins that seek to shape our thoughts when facing a dire and difficult situation. We must remember to hold onto the light within. 💝

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Linda I can feel the chaos swirling around you, who are such a rock of stability. It hurts to feel the storm around you. That falling down the rabbit hole and nobody there, feeling smaller and smaller. I remember Bella’s visit earlier this year and can’t help but feel Bella gave her life so you could continue on. It’s not your time to go. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I took a long time to react…but here it is….My wife went down the rabbit hole too some 11 years ago and is still having tea with the Mad Hatter….still somewhat intact about 95 %…..some fairy tales end well enough….to give thanks for the day.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Yep….fill those pages with words of love, hope, questions without answers and a whole range of our human emotions in the years to come…for others to ponder over….

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You have captured the astounding dis-belief’ so well in this poem, Linda, the grey days, the ‘Restless endless nights tossing about / Tangled in darkness of damp sheets’, and the feeling of falling into the rabbit hole. You will come out the other side. We are all thinking of you. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is profoundly written…and how I wish it were not. Writing is a gift when one is facing the terror of the unknown; the fear of the diagnosis; the difficulty of the treatment. In reality, one has to face it all alone…it is your body only. BUT —- even though we and others are not “in” that rabbit hole with you….they are putting their mouths up to their cupped hands, and then their hands to the top of that rabbit hole, and shouting with all their might down into it…..we’ve got your back…..we are cheering….we are praying….you are the warrior but we are urging you on. Your fight is yours to fight but so many….so many care. Know that.

    Liked by 1 person

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