Charmed Chaos

I’m going now, so I bid you good-bye if you like,
you can read about my demise in the Sunday paper
A tragic dramatic ending to my sordid life I leave no note but know
I go so not to cause more strife to those who love the me
They believe me to be.

You left me I suppose so I could be forever free,
at least ‘free’ from the physical you but not the fractured memories
of your melodic voice and blue eyes or the way you smiled at me

And so you left this world clothed in a suit of self hate,
when you went knocking, begging at the hallowed gates
I bet they made you wait before they turned you away
so in hell’s limbo you wander far from the daunting fray
of our shattered souls that fight to live every single day

Did you think..of those you left behind, how you broke our hearts
for we will never be the same now shrouded in shame… a mystery
forever asking ourselves why you slipped and fell apart

How selfish of you to leave us with nothing but self-blame,
how conceited to think of no one else only your own pain
While we are left to grieve forever in winter’s pouring rain.

©2021 Linda Lee Lyberg

Author’s Note: This is my first time to write Confessional poetry. On February 18, 1994 my husband of almost 7 years killed himself.  In this poem, the first stanza is in what I imagine to be his voice. The remainder of the poem is in mine and those he left behind. 

dVerse: https://dversepoets.com/2019/01/15/dverse-poetics-the-art-of-confession-in-poetry/

Tuesday. Platform: http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-tuesday-platform_15.html