Charmed Chaos
Musings on Life, Love, and Linguine-Poetry & Writing
What I know About My Mother
Recently, a friend lost their mother and I started thinking about mine. Mom died on August 9,2011. I think of her every day. I wish I could hold her hand just one more time.
There are no words one can say to comfort a person who has lost a mother. A piece of you is gone forever. Your mother has known you longer than anyone else in this world. She felt the first flutters of your life deep in her belly. She carried you when no one else could.
This is what I know about my mother. She was the oldest of 3 children raised by her mother. Her father died when he was a very young man from a heart condition. She grew up during the depression. At a very young age she worked with her beloved brother James. They mowed lawns for a quarter and shined shoes for a nickel. She wore James’ hand me down coveralls they were blue with white stripes. She loved to roller skate and was quite good. Since she was the oldest she had to work and help support the family. This instilled in her a strong work ethic that she in turn instilled in me. Read More
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Buttermilk & Bar-B-Q
My momma and my Aunt Wanda both worked at Lenox Bar-B-Q in Houston, Texas at one time. I did too. In fact, it was my first job at the ripe old age of 12. I worked setting up the catering parties and got $35.00 each time I did. I learned how to fold a napkin into a Bishop’s hat, a Standing Fan, a Swirl, a Lily, and a Crown. I also learned the proper way to set a table. I would help with the serving of coffee, tea, or water and even at catering parties, people tipped me. Thought I was the cutest thing they ever saw, dressed up in my white shirt, black bow tie, and black skirt, trying to be all grown up like. Skinny as a twig young girl wrestling with pitchers of water and such. I accepted their tips with a wide eyed thank you each time.
At the time, I thought $35.00 was a fortune. I was rich! I helped my momma buy my sister’s and my school clothes with what I made. We didn’t have a telephone at home and momma told me we could get one if I saved for it. I saved for what felt like forever, she lived up to her word and had a phone line put in. Momma was big on teaching me you have to work hard for whatever you want in this life. I guess growing up during the depression will do that to you. Read More
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BEAU
My thoughts today turned to a beautiful old dog we loved and still love that has passed on. I wrote this shortly after. Dusted it off, polished it up, and thought it was fitting for today’s post.
“Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.”
—Dean Koontz
BEAUREGARD (Beau) LYBERG- JULY 1998- SEPTEMBER 14, 2013
Abandoned as a puppy and left in a dumpster to die. Rescued by a kind soul that nursed him back to health and then took him to the Arizona Humane Society. It was there he acquired the lackluster name of ‘SPOT’. Read More
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Biscuits in a Tin Pie Pan
I come from a long line of strong women. My grandma Powers was one, for sure. My grandfather died at the age of 47 in 1939, leaving behind Grandma to raise the three kids alone. There was James, the oldest, my mom Patsy, and Wanda, the youngest.
My mom told us how her daddy died. She was in the room with him at the time of his passing. He came home from work early and wasn’t feeling well. Grandma told mom to go into the bedroom and take his shoes off for him. She did, and she heard a strange noise come from her dad. She called for her mom, and by the time she got there, her daddy was dead. It was a heart attack. He left no life insurance or money. I guess you don’t really expect to kick the bucket at 47. Read More
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Why Now?
“All Glory comes from daring to begin.”
Why did I start this Blog?
Well, a couple of reasons come to mind. One, I am now striving to live as a writer, an artist, a home cook, a gardener. This blog will help me to discover if this is the path I am to take. And two, I finally have the time to allow my creativity to come forth and blossom.
It’s scary to put yourself out there. To show people the real you with all your hopes and dreams laid bare. All your flaws and the mis-steps you’ve made but learned from.
I have written stories and poems most of my life. I want to move others with my words. I want to give solace to those who need it. A lofty goal, but there it is.
My fervent wish is you will join me on this journey of self discovery to see where it leads me.
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Altered State, Pt.2
“The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.”
Funny how my post the other day affected some people. People were reaching out to Pete (my husband) – “I hear Linda is having a tough time, I am sorry man. Let us know if there is anything we can do. Hang in there.” As if I had a terminal illness or something I would not recover from.
Others responded with I understand how you feel. I have been feeling the same way.
Still others with I don’t understand why a Trump presidency is freaking people out. For this- I have no words.
While I appreciate all the concern, I am right where I need to be right now. I am fine. This is not about causing anyone concern. I am not perfect. I have fallen many times in my life and let people down, but I get back up. Peaks and valleys- that is life. I try to learn from the times when I am in a valley. Read More
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Altered State
I wrote this back in January and posted it to my FB page and wow, did I get some interesting results. So, here ya go.
I have been in an ‘altered state of mind’ since the election results. I don’t mean drowning my sorrows with wine, although I have had my share. This goes much deeper than anything wine can handle.
This is sorrow. I know sorrow- we are intimate friends. I have met sorrow before and stared it down and come out on the other side. I have grieved the loss of a husband who could light up a room with his smile yet he was so troubled he took his own life. A sister who was a beautiful mess but nonetheless, MY sister. A dear friend taken much too early right when she got all she ever wanted- an amazing child she adopted. My mother, who I have no words for because I can’t explain how she affected my life in a myriad of profound ways.
This sorrow is something else- as if there has been a shift in the universe that I cannot see. It’s deep in the marrow of my bones. My heart is heavy, I want so to ‘forget it all’, and go on my merry way, ignoring . Can I make a difference in all this and make sense of all the injustice and hurt to others I have seen?
When I was young, I could move away from my discomfort- youth is so naive and resilient. I am not young. I cannot brush this aside like Scarlett in GWTW- “After all, tomorrow is another day.” I am sitting with this discomfort and trying to dissect it, so I understand it.
And that’s okay.
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