Home » Short Story » Final Answer: NOT Italian

Final Answer: NOT Italian

20060194 - illustration of deoxyribonucleic acid structureYou go through two-thirds of your life thinking you are Italian and with one little vial of spit, all you thought you were changes.
And while I am astounded by the advances we have made in science and genetics, I now have a new identity. And one, I might add, that surprised me.
Are you ready for the DNA breakdown of who I am? Here it is in all its numerical glory.

61% Great Britain
15% Irish
8% Europe West (Belgium,France,Germany,
Netherlands,Switzerland,Luxembourg, Liechtenstein)
5% Finland/Northwest Russia
4% Scandinavia
4% European Jewish
3% Iberian Peninsula
0% ITALIAN
WHEW. Talk about Heinz 57 variety.
Where do I go from here?
Do I identify myself as an uptight but witty Brit? Funny, I have never had a desire to go to Great Britain, but now, I may have to.
Am I a humorous Lassie with unflinching self-evaluation from Éire? Ireland is on my bucket list, but 15%?
Or am I a belle femme who lives in a château in the heart of France and enjoys her fair share of French reds? Two words come to mind, Paris and romance.
As far as Finland, Northwest Russia, and Scandinavia goes, I am not a vodka drinker or a pickled herring eater. But, I did work for IKEA and I married a Norwegian- does that count? Plus, my dear friend who walked me down the leaf strewn path to that amazing Norwegian is from Sweden.
And there is this from ScienceDaily.com on the European Jewish.
A new study published online January 17 in the journal Genome Biology and Evolution by Dr Eran Elhaik, a geneticist at the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health, argues that the European Jewish genome is a mosaic of Caucasus, European, and Semitic ancestries, setting to rest previous contradictory reports of Jewish ancestry. Caucasus is the home of Europe’s highest mountain, Mount Elbrus, 5,642 metres. I equate mountains with cold and I am not a cold weather fan.
From Ancestry.com on the Iberian Peninsula.
Iberian Peninsula Ethnicity: Separated from the rest of continental Europe by the Pyrenees Mountains, the Iberian Peninsula lies between the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean. Gibraltar, at the peninsula’s southern tip, is a little over nine miles from the north coast of Africa. This proximity would play a major part in the history and identity of Spain and Portugal. All I can say about this is I speak some Spanish, and I like spicy foods.
 46480434_s
At this point, I’m going with France. The origin of the amazing 5 Mother sauces: Béchamel, Sauce Velouté, Sauce Tomat, Sauce Espagnole, and Hollandaise. Brilliant. Any cook worth their salt in the kitchen, knows how to make them. My idea of heaven is a five course meal: apertíf, hor d’oeuvres, entrée, salade, fromages, and dessert. France has anywhere from 350-450 different types of cheese. That alone is enough of a reason for me. And the wines- Beaujolais, Bordeaux, Burgundy, Côte du Rhône, and my personal favorite, Champagne.
Three of my most loved movies of all time are set in France.  Midnight in Paris, A Good Year (the secret life I yearn for), and French Kiss. Meg Ryan doing her imitation as an old bitter Luc (Kevin Kline) gets me every time.
And then there’s this:
Kate: Do you believe in love? The kind that lasts forever?
Luc: I loved my mother.
Kate: No, everybody loves their mother. Even people who hate their mothers love their mothers. The question is, one man meant for one woman. That is the question.
Luc: But it is not an interesting question. It is the question of a little girl who believes in fairy tales.
SIGH.
And as for me? I believe in Fairy Tales, true love, and la belle vie.
So there you have it, I may be 61% Great Britain, but in my heart I am 100% French.
Au Revoir.

3 thoughts on “Final Answer: NOT Italian

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s