Casting Shadows

Cypress bows in autumn rain
Bearing weight as if in pain
Casting shades on what remains
Fury of the storm unrestrained
As limbs of trees lay broken, felled.
Thunderclouds gather, striking fear
Roosting birds take wing, disappear
Sensing the change in atmosphere
As a once calm wind heaved and swelled.

©2019 Linda Lee Lyberg

Written for dVerse where Frank is hosting ‘Imitation Practice’. I’m not sure how well I did as far as the meter goes, but I gave it a shot. The rhyme scheme is AAAABCCCB.

Author’s Note: I’ve got rain on the brain. It’s rained for three days, which is unusual for us here in Arizona. I’m not complaining; we really needed it. And I do love the freshness it brings.

33 Comments on “Casting Shadows

  1. Very nice description of the wind especially with the last line of it heaving and swelling. I also like how the cypress bears wet weight as if in pain. Nice imitation of Tennyson.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You were wondering about the meter, and I think if you’re after the Tennyson rhythm you need to take out a few words to get the lines to four beats, like ‘low’ then ‘wet’ and if you change ‘shadows’ to ‘shades’ that scans. If I had a metronome I’d use it to get the beat, but I don’t so I tap out the rhythm as I say the lines. It’s tricky!

    Like

  3. I certainly could tell it was Tennyson, even before I got to your explication.It fares well when read aloud. Nice job of modernizing the form too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tennyson seems to be the one to imitate today. The rhythm needs a bit of changing as Jane says otherwise, it is a beautiful poem. You did good! I so love the way you describe the thunderstorm and the rain.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There are a couple of comments about the rhythm, and I see what they mean. The rhyme scheme works well, though, and as a poem it stands up in its own right. The slight softening of the rhythm works with the topic, and your imagery is great.

    Liked by 1 person

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