Charmed Chaos

“The moon seems unaware

of night’s dark hitting

on the damp warm rain 

misguiding owl’s spitting 

A thunder light of love

raising hearts beating

while weather learns more

from rain lovers meeting” 

― Munia Khan

When she came to the garden each day, a cacophony of noise began. The mockingbirds and ravens squawked at her but she ignored them. Bella the Great Horned Owl sat on the fountain or high in the mesquite unperturbed by the noise around her. A magnificent queen on her throne.

I had six days with her, six incredible, heartbreaking, soul seeking, weeping days. I am blessed she chose to come here and for that I will be forever grateful. How many can say I had an amazing owl for a friend, a teacher, a soul connection.

Why did she keep returning? Was it because from the first encounter I showed no fear, only astonishment she was here? Or because I asked her that very first day- Are you okay? Are you hurt? She took one long look, as if assessing my worthiness, and flew away. And each day thereafter she returned about the same time. On Sunday, I began to see a change in her; her eyes were not as clear and alert. By Monday, I decided to place a call to Wild at Heart Rescue, a local raptors rescue. A kind gentleman came out and tried to rescue her, but Bella flew away. He told me all I can do now is keep an eye on her because unfortunately we may have to wait until she is weaker.

She returned late that evening and was here Tuesday morning. Again, I did not like the look of her eyes, and I was three feet away from her. I composed a message to the gentleman letting him know she was here, back on the fountain. I checked for her once more before I sent it and she had flown away as if she knew what I was going to do. Later that day the same thing happened; she came back, I thought of calling and she flew away. As if to say, ‘No, this is not how my life is going to end, I’m doing this my way.’

The last time I saw her was mid-day yesterday; sitting on top of the porch light. She did not look well. But she responded to my voice. I stayed with her for awhile, sending her healing light and prayers, whispering her name. I told her how beautiful and fierce she is, I thanked her for allowing me to be a small part of her amazing life. I sent her unconditional love with each tear that fell. She flew away shortly after. She didn’t return last night to her favorite spot on the porch.

This morning I looked for her in all the usual places. No Bella. My husband called to see how I was because he knows me well. While I was on the phone with him, I looked out under the shade of the mesquite tree and there is something lying on the ground. It is Bella, lying face down with her wings forever spread. As if she died flying. She’s passed on to her new home resting on the shoulder of Athena, and Bella is now free from pain. From the moment I saw her and felt the wind from her wings on my face, she captured my heart. A heart that is now consumed with grief over the senseless death of this beautiful creature.

There are no birds singing or fussing because she is here. The garden is heavy with silence this morning.

©2020 Linda Lee Lyberg

Author’s Note: I am re-posting my encounter with Bella today, in part to share on Earthweal (where Sherry references my encounter anonymously), but also because ever since I was diagnosed with cancer in June, I have felt Bella’s presence in my life in a powerful way. Even though she has passed on, I know she is with me. Too much has happened for me to believe otherwise. Her spirit gives me courage and strength, and I am hopeful I will be cured of this horrid disease. Peace and love to you all- Linda

Earthweal: Messages from the Wild

Linda Lee Lyberg is a wife, mother, artist, published poet and author. She resides in Mesa, AZ with her husband Pete (aka The Big Viking) of 23 years, and her dog, Ricky Bobby. Linda writes various forms of poetry, as well as short stories. You can read more of her works at: charmedchaos.com
and on her Amazon Author Page