I have let go of my old life. You know the one. The life where I got up earlier than God, rushed,rushed,rushed. Worked all day, and part of the night. Jetted to somewhere different, worked in a different location, a different city. Encountered harshness no matter where I was. There is little chivalry in an airport. Each man or woman fighting for their own space. Seldom reaching out a hand to help. And if you reach out to help, they view you as a suspicious character. Same song, second verse. Rinse and repeat.
Exhausted. Tired to the core of my being; all the time. So much so I spent the weekends recovering, from what I am not sure. Perhaps it was the disenchantment of viewing life from where I was and what I had become. I could never catch up, or feel like my world is right.
Living my life in constant motion, a flickering monochromatic silent movie. No one knows me. Who is this person I see in the mirror? I do not recognize her. A sepia inked version of me staring back, with flashes of color of the woman I once was, pleading to me for change like a beggar on the street.
It worked for a while. But then it didn’t. It doesn’t matter where or when or even how everything changed for me. What does matter is it did.
I spend my days contemplating life and its meaning. I pray, I meditate, and I am centered. I have the love of not only a good man but a good dog too.
I observe the world around me and see it again in all its kaleidoscopic beauty. I watch a momma sparrow outside my window feed her baby, who has discovered he has the gift of flight. I watch the white butterflies fluttering in the wind, beckoning me forward to this new life. Giving me permission to be true to me.
I have the universe in my meditation room, encouraging me to soar,soar, soar- you are free at last. I have my garden, my art, my poetry, my writing where I search for and sometimes find the real essence of me. For the first time ever, it’s within my grasp to be true to who I am.
I listen and God speaks to my soul for he is now in control. He was always there, but I was not always listening.
Rainbows in my room and on my soul.
Hello, I am Linda Lee. It’s good to be back.
I have Let Go.